I'd like to say ban her from having sex ban her from her boyfriend keep her locked away but I honestly don't think that will work as it's already past that point. The only thing I can really suggest is properly educate her about babies etc and make sure she is using protection. I never told my mum about any of the things I used to get up to as a teenager so I'd say the lies are quite normal no matter how great ur relationship is with her, there's just some things teenagers don't like to discuss with their moms. She's already done it now so there isn't any turning back really and u wouldn't want to risk pushing her away because of it as that could make things alot worse. be there for her and try not to be angry about it with her. but I think the best thing u can do is support her the best u can. I know if I had a daughter I'd probably freak out too and I can definately see why your worried. but I do think that it doesn't matter what u do its not going to stop her doing what she feels ready to do. Now I'm not saying your daughter is right in what she is doing in the slightest. people used to say i was very mature for my age. I never felt like I was doing anything wrong and just felt like any other person besotted with my boyfriend is what I guess I'm trying to say. I didn't feel 14 I'm my own head and i did feel ready. I'm abit ashamed to admit it but I started having sex when I was just turned 14 (I was very careful never had any accidents. I haven't read others replies so I'm sorry if I'm repeating anything. And Ive just put my trainers on to run to catch up with you! From one frazzled mother of a 13 year old girl to another - chin up and as long as you keep talking your daughter will hopefully look back at this episode and realize why you were so worried and be grateful that she had such a supportive mum to guide her and keep her safe. No one can criticize you about it until they have walked a mile in your shoes. You don't mention his parents? Do they know about this? Are you friends with them? Could you talk with them about them being round his house so that can put your mind at rest a bit? I would rather have them round my house than possibly unsupervised at his maybe? As I said to my daughter, she is a child playing an adults game but what are you going to gain by going mad about it? Ostracizing your daughter, making her sneak around behind your back anyway and exposing her to more danger. I think you are doing amazingly - if only we could laugh at this over a glass of wine! - and I totally understand your feelings towards her initially but you've taken a huge step in speaking to her again and she must be feeling incredibly relieved that this is all out in the open now. With regards to the comments of her being a child yadda yadda yadda, yes, she is, of course, a child, but children will be children and at that age they think they know it all don't they? I certainly did at 13! I also have a 17 year old son, would he be described as "a child"? In the eyes of the law he certainly is but somehow that's acceptable. Obviously I initially went mad and can 100% identify with ALL of your emotions!! But like I say, I took stock and realized that I cannot lock her up 24 hours a day and that at least she was being honest and open - even though it is early days and she insists that they will not be having sex, I however am a realist and realize that that may not always be the case! But I will cross that bridge when I have to! But the week after he paid for them to go to the cinema together, and the week after that he met him - albeit briefly! Even though hes my ex and I could strangle him sometimes, I was very proud of him for that as it must have been hard for him.īut I took stock and was grateful that, after the initial lying, she was now being honest with me. And he was devastated to hear this about his little girl. It was her father I was more worried about and I truly felt for him when I rang and tell him. He was no man, he was a gangly 14 year old kid with braces. Meeting him made me feel very strangely better. I found out on a Tuesday and on the Friday she was bringing him round to meet me. Obviously I was not happy about it to say the least but what can you do? Lock her away? Ground her indefinitely? Shes still got to go to school right?! She lied about who she was out with for 2 weeks (not where she was, just who she was with) and I KNEW something was amiss. I too have a 13 yo daughter - shes not 14 until next august! - and she has recently got her first boyfriend. Not particularly helpful I feel and I hope you never find yourself in the OPs unenviable position.
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